I’m not ‘brown bread’

 

images

Just to reassure people I’m still here. Alive and kicking, maybe just a bit fatter after gorging on lots of delicious  food over the holidays.

Over the Christmas break while approaching the New Year I started to reflect a bit on my life, to think about what I wanted  to change.  How I wanted my year to pan out and what I wanted to achieve. I’m quite impulsive, I make a decision and don’t give an awful lot of thought to it, I just do it. Which is what happened when I thought, I don’t like Facebook anymore and  that is something I want to change for 2017.  I don’t want to ‘like’ my hundredth Christmas tree. Saying amen to a child with cancer on my timeline will not cure them and I don’t want to pass something on because then money will come my way. It won’t and you’re stupid to believe it will. So as I was turning into an intolerant, grumpy women I decided to say Goodbye to Facebook. But that was the problem, I should have said “Goodbye” instead I just turned it off, deleted the app  and continued on with my eating and drinking too much. Well it was Christmas – any excuse!

So I have had numerous texts and e-mails from friends asking if I was O.K? Had I ‘defriended’ them? No, I have sort of just defriended myself. Was I unwell? Not as far as I’m aware. And then there are the friends who you just contact via Facebook, who you have no other contact details for, not because you aren’t good friends but just because it’s easier to message through it. A few managed to contact me via this blog which was very resourceful.  I had planned  to not update my blog until next week, after my eye appointment. But sitting enjoying a glass of wine with my husband last night I was mentioning that a few people had contacted me and been worried, I felt bad as I should have said I was going and not just disappeared. He said that people would think I was ‘brown bread.’ What? I was confused. “You know, dead!” He obviously found it mildly amusing. As we were chatting about whether to go back onto Facebook to just say “goodbye” or not an e-mail  came through from a friend who I have known for almost 13 years, as our daughters share the same birthdays. I haven’t seen her for nearly 10  as she moved quite far away.  She was concerned that I had become unwell. It made me think that because people know me and I have had cancer, they are tainted with it too. Whereas I always used to think it was just me that worried every ache and pain was new growth, I now realise that others worry about that too. And I’m sorry for that. I really am. Just like I don’t like it when my youngest daughter writes stories about illness and losing someone, I don’t like it that people worry about me. I wish you had all just thought “where’s she gone? Unsociable b*tch!” I’m sorry you had to think of this ghastly disease that seems to permeate every interaction of my life. I want to reassure you all I am well. I have started jogging slowly after a hamstring injury and am all wrapped up in my two youngest daughters’ January birthdays. More cakes and bubbles? I hear you cry. Well if you insist.

My other big sharing news and a much larger New Years Resolution than leaving Facebook is something I only shared with a few people last year as I felt slightly embarrassed and not good enough. But I am sharing it now as I am determined to do it and finish it. My book! My blogs decreased as my book writing increased. I am 20.000 words into a teen fiction. My dramatic (dyslexic) middle daughter is my proof reader and she is “loving it!” Now if praise like that doesn’t make you go and pop a bottle in the fridge and celebrate, I don’t know what will!

Happy and healthy 2017 everybody!

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “I’m not ‘brown bread’

  1. I do so agree with you about Facebook, so much of it is mindless twaddle, but have always enjoyed nicking the family photos!!! However, I’m seriously considering following your example and will continue to contact important people personally, by phone and email and trust you all to send me photos, as you always have! Keep up the writing….can’t wait to own a copy of your book. Speak to you soon. Love, Sandra xxx
    PS so glad you’re not ‘brown bread’!!! 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel the same about Facebook, I stupidly click on a greyhound and a thousand needy greyhounds follow at it’s heels. But I have contacted a group of girls I was at school with through it and we managed to get together last year, which was great fun, so I’ll probably stick with it.
    The book sounds exciting, and you’ve put me to shame, I must start writing up my cookery book as I intended 12 years ago!
    I’m sure the birthdays were fabulous celebrations, one of the blessings of a January child is no Dry January!xxx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s